Paul Michael Davies
The world’s second play set and performed on board a typical Melbourne tram as it makes its way from the St. Kilda terminus to the City and back. An audience gathers at the terminus where the tram soon arrives carrying a conductress and a sleeping drunk. As the ‘connie’ struggles to get a fare from the old man various characters come on board her tram. There’s a Brighton socialite who’s just split up from her husband and never been on public transport before, then a punk with a plastic dog (used for collecting money for the Blind Society) which he’s obviously stolen, followed by a couple who had a relationship six years ago and now find themselves bitterly arguing over the paternity of “their son”. Just before arriving at the city an overzealous ticket inspector adds to the crazy mix of strangers and promptly sacks the connie for dereliction of duty. After interval at a hotel in the city the return journey sees the return of the old derro (who had been thrown off the tram on the way in by the punk) as well as the return of the bickering couple and the socialite who has just confronted her husband in the foyer of the Melbourne Theatre Company. As matters reach a climax the derro attempts to hijack the tram starting an altercation with the ticket inspector who staggers off into the night thinking he’s stabbed the old man (but only hit his pie and tomato sauce). Eventually the police arrive, the wrong people are arrested and the punk makes an amorous play for the connie’s affections. By the time the audience return to the terminus where it all started they know the lives of these characters will never be the same again.
